DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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