guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Randomize
