At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
