You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
