yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
