omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
