where am i from again
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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