The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
