Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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