I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
