drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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