we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
