Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
