he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
