So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
