My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
