I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
