I'm so fucking centered right now
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
