last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
they're like a gay fantastic four
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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