Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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