This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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