In America we eat man semen.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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