All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
