the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
