4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
