five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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