So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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