GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Randomize
