There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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