You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
