Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
