We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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