Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
