you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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