I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
