question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
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