he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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