there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
