It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
