I must be too annoying 4 u.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
