there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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