He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
you had me at cake vodka
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
whose ass print is on the piano?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
