Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
