i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
