Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
