Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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