Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
