Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
dude. I can hear the air.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
