If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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