I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
