last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
