I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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