one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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