Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
