I have demons in me.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
